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24 May 2006 @ 06:50 pm
"without a moment of thought" Harry/Ginny, PG-13  
Title: without a moment of thought
Ship: Harry/Ginny, implied R/Hr
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~600
Warnings: flangst
Summary: The diagnosis (Ginny hates that word, it is so clinical and so cold) had been unexpected.
Note: I totally stole my idea from Love Story. (For mickawber, who definitely deserves lots of love!)


"and there's a ghost across the room/in the afternoon" -Jesse Sykes & the Sweet Hereafter

--

WITHOUT A MOMENT OF THOUGHT

It is hard to believe she is as sick as she is. Harry watches Ginny from farther off the frozen pond—he had never learned to ice skate and Ginny was spectacular, but she had no patience and couldn't teach him. Harry wishes now that he had been a better student, because maybe he could have learned and could be down there with her now.

She stands out with her red hair and Weasley sweater, the one that was received along with a second, smaller sweater during the winter they spent between the sheets. That had been a year ago, and the hope of babies and sunshine and life had since gone to dust.

The diagnosis (Ginny hates that word, it is so clinical and so cold) had been unexpected.

She was leaning against their bed with both sweaters in her hands when Harry returned from the hospital, the news of her illness weighing on his chest like an unmoving boulder, constricting his breathing and making his eyes water with something like tears.

"Ginny?" Harry rapped lightly on the door and walked in, his eyes having trouble adjusting to the sudden lack of light. "I need to talk with you. It's important."

(She pressed one finger to his lips, her eyes worn and red and then closed.)

"I know," she had said.

Ginny skates off the pond and trudges through snow, her lips blue and face red and raw from the cold winds.

"Hi," she says, and there is a weakness in her eyes that Harry has never seen before, a strange weakness that seems to hold some kind of madness as well. Harry would do anything for it not to be there, would take her right on the bench they are sitting on, right in the snow, to replace the foreign expression with the ecstasy and the almost-pain that he sees in her eyes when she comes.

"Do you want to get some tea? You look cold." He watches her unlace her skates, red hair spilling over her shoulder and onto the snow as she puts on a boot and tries to keep her hat from falling to the ground. "Ginny, did you hear me? You look cold. Do you want to wear my coat?"

"I heard you!" Ginny yells, turning with a violent quickness and then looking sorry at her unreasonable reaction. She coughs into her gloved hand and turns bright as a stoplight. "I heard you and I don't need your coat. I'm fine."

Harry watches her put on her left boot and stand up, both of them watching a couple glide by on the ice.

He wants to tell Ginny so many things, how he would die for her like Ron did for Hermione, how he loves her and the way she looks while reading the Prophet in bed after sex, reading parts out loud and describing comics panel by panel. How he loves her scent, flowers and a hint of cinnamon (and on some nights a perfume that smells of vanilla but is probably called something like 'Enticing' or 'Seduction'). How he would lie in bed beside her all day and watch the sun rise through the window like she wants him to do, but he never has enough time.

He wants to tell her she doesn't have enough time, and they should use what they have wisely. They should live.

"Can we get a cab?" she asks as it starts to snow and she is slowly covered in snowflakes, her lips a lighter blue and eyes a quieter brown, too tired now for passion. Harry is all passion, all want, but short on time. Always short on time.

"Where do you want to go?"

Ginny smiles wistfully and looks past Harry in the direction of the city, or the sun.

"Everywhere," she says, without a moment of thought.

fin
 
 
 
the one with that girl i knew: Into You: H/Gpocketfullof on May 26th, 2006 12:27 pm (UTC)
So beautiful. You accomplished so much in this little ficlet. Very impressive.
i feel real weird for you: the intersection of art and lifemondayagain on May 27th, 2006 01:20 am (UTC)
thank you so much! i was extremely worried it would come across as too angsty or fluffy (hence the warning) so to hear that at least one person thinks that isn't so is wonderful.